Cutting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

   My last post was around New Year's. It's now Labor Day. While I haven't been blogging, I have been painstakingly editing Wielder of All. I realized recently that next month, October 2024, will mark 10 years since I wrote the first word of Wielder. In the past decade I've decided to pursue self-publishing instead of traditional, created the bones of a website and social media presence, and cut the first 30,000 words of my original manuscript. That last one hurt.

 

   I "finished" Wielder of All in 2016 or 2017. I know I reached the end of the story I wanted to tell in the first book, but I had no idea how far from really "finished" I was. What I had was a proofread first draft that wasn't ready to be shared with anyone except a professional editor. 

   Instead of editing, I wrote several query letters to agents and got some good notes, but one particular piece of advice rubbed me the wrong way, not because it was bad feedback, but because I wasn't ready to receive it.

   The note was simple: "If Lena is your main character, she should appear earlier in the story. We see her in the prologue, and then we don't hear from her again for several chapters."

   Younger me had nothing but defensive excuses in response: "It's necessary backstory!" "We have to know what happened to her mother before we get into Lena's story!" "Also, I like what I wrote in those early chapters!"

   Current me sees the wisdom in the feedback. I can now acknowledge the pitfall of keeping chapters for yourself, not for readers. So I cut them. Ouch. 

   These were chapters full of scenes I enjoyed creating and characters I wanted to stay in the story. And some of the essential bits had to be reworked into the remaining chapters. In a nutshell, it's been one hell of a rewrite in 2024, but I know the result will be a better book.

   I still have the last five chapters to edit, and it's a slog. I often think I should be working on Ruler of None, the second partially written book that is itching to get out of my brain, but first book's first. It has been difficult this year to find the energy, motivation, and headspace to do any of this... this hobby, this artform that takes my time and money, makes me question my talent, and leaves me wondering if any of it is worth the effort, but I will keep going. In another 10 years, maybe I'll read this post with a stack of Fogline's published works sitting on the shelf behind me.